Austen Keller was living her dream. She landed a career-defining job which moved her and her husband to Paris. Shortly thereafter, she was divorced. This wasn’t the plan. Yet there she was—pushing 40 and starting over.

A decade after she’d last been single, Austen enters the dating scene playing by a new set of rules in a different language, culture, and lingerie standards. She experiences every type of miserable first date imaginable and lives to tell the tales of Pierre the Mansplainer, Simon the Snoozer, Emile the Over-Sharer, Guillaume of the Gym Shorts, and many more. On most dates, she struggles to get past one glass of Bordeaux without wanting to bolt. Even worse, no one chases after her when she runs. It doesn’t take long for her to realize that whoever said French men were romantic deserves a swift kick in the pants.

A rewarding and high-powered career. Check!
Fabulous female friendships. Nailed it!
True love. Umm?

Austen continues to ask herself: Is “having it all” too much to ask?

A genuine and tragically hilarious novel about an ex-pat woman's journey of self-discovery through a string of disastrous dates, relationships forged in a deep cultural divide, world travels, and wine. A lot of wine.